Self Portrait Exploration Series

Self Portraits within Procedural Boundaries 

above: series of 5 portraits made under time constraints

above: 25/60

above: 15/45

above: 5/45

above:0/120

above: 20/50

Self Sensory Exploration (a performance piece)

detail photographs of performance 

Thank you to Dustin Stevenson

Self Exploration Series

 

            This piece began as an experiment on my ability to create portraits of myself based on memory.  I wanted to explore the ability of the memory to be influenced by preconceived notions of self and form and fluctuations of time. I first set a set of rules for myself pertaining to how the portraits would be produced. The rules consisted of a set amount of time in which I was allowed to do nothing but analyze my face in a mirror ranging from 0 to 45 minutes. After analyzing myself I would take a 10 minute pause in order to occupy my mind with other thoughts, forcing myself to work solely from memory. I would then being to sculpt a clay portrait within a predetermined amount of time, ranging from 40 minutes to 2 hours. After completing seven portraits, and breaking two, it become evident to me that the portraits all shared a quality closer than the obvious attribute of being of myself, they were the same level of finish despite their differing factors. I found this to be an interesting situation although it did trouble me, as this similar level of finish detracted from the sensory ability of memory that I was hoping to explore and comment upon with the experiment. It appeared that when given less time to complete the portraits I simply increased the speed at which I sculpted, still aiming to complete the portrait to a recognizable degree. I asked myself how I would better be able to express the sensory ability of memory, and it became obvious after discussion with peers that it was necessary to attempt the experiment without seeing the product, since leaving a piece “unfinished” brought me discomfort.

            In order to create a piece that I could not see, but could still sense to the best of my abilities, I lay on the ground and placed a thin slab of clay over my face. I then began to sculpt a portrait of myself solely from my memory of shape of the forms that made up my face. By forming the portrait over my face I was able to feel the process from two points, one the sensation of my hand as they pressed, pulled, and piled the clay, and the other the sensation of my face as clay was moved about on top of it. As I lay on the ground people moved in and out of the space, questioning my motives and objective. I could hear them moving about me, and slightly sense their positions, but in the whole I was vulnerable on the ground- unable to speak, see, or move without stopping my process. I finished the portrait when it became difficult to breathe through the small hole in the clay I left for my nose and when my arms became fatigued.

After completing the portrait I once again spoke with my peers about their feelings while watching me, and mine as they watched me. I then concluded that the process of creating these sensory portraits was directly related to the act of performing, and thus the experience of the piece as a performance piece was cultivated. The effect of the reactions of the viewer, their statements and the movement of their bodies in relation to mine, was crucial to the outcome of the portrait, and their reactions were only elicited by the process of making the portrait  that was enacted by me.